Reflection 2: Can I or Can't I?

Today devotion talks about our competence as Christians and how we need to first say, "I can't" to fully realize that only God can. Jon Walker argues that, "If we rush past 'I can't', we will never fully embrace the notion that only God can" (Walker, 2009, p.14).

I find today's devotion to be quite puzzling. In the beginning, Walker talks about how we can do nothing apart from God. But then, he continues with talking about living life led by rules vs by Holy Spirit. while I can understand both of his arguments, I find it really hard to fully understand the connection between those two. So, for now my lesson is simply that dependency on God is my only option.

It's funny to think that while we can say with our mouth that we can't do anything without Him, our actions can show a whole different message. Without realizing it, we tend to fall into what Gerald May would call "spiritual narcissism" - a condition in which we think we know what is the best for us spiritually. The question is, isn't it the reason of Jesus came to the earth is to show us who God is - because humans are so limited in knowledge and simply clueless about everything, especially God.

So, when the question is asked,"Can I or Can't I?". I believe the only answer is "I can through Him" - Philippians 4:13. Now, how can I translate that into my daily life? That, I believe, is the challenge for today.

"The gentlest form of spiritual narcissism is the idea that one can accomplish one's own spiritual growth... The belief that 'I can do it' is intimately associated with the assumption that 'it is my idea, my desire, to do it.' spiritual narcissism works to deny the realization that our spirituality comes from God" - Gerald May

Reflection 1: Living a Holy Life

Today is the first day of my journey of "Growing With Purpose" (book written by Jon Walker). He says that to live a holy life is a reasonable request because God is the one who initiates our cleansing and "it is God, not [our] efforts, who makes [us] holy" (Walker, 2009, p.13).

This makes me wonder, what is holy anyway? Is it a state? Is it a goal? or is it the journey?

I came across Addison Road's song today, titled "What Do I Know of Holy?".
The words goes like this:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood, but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

God is Holy - I know that with my mind.
But, do I know that with my heart? Do I really say that with my heart?
Do I really proclaim that holiness in my life? Do I have a desire to be like Him?
After all, Christians are followers of Christ - with a goal to be like Him.
How far behind am I on this journey?

Today is the first day of my journey. With little time aside everyday, I am determined to stop living a comfortable life and start moving forward to grow with purpose.

It's not my goal to answer questions. It is my desire to take a step out of my comfort zone and explore my weaknesses one by one. For me, the journey starts with realization that I have no clue at all about the holiness of God. I know it in my mind and I can argue about it, but I have no clue of how deep it really mean. Do you?

GROWING WITH PURPOSE

I just bought a devotional book by Jon Walker. It's amazing that it took me so long to realize that I'm a kind of person who needs an extra long time to think through a topic. Well, at least, it makes me realize that we often don't know as much about ourselves as we might proclaim.

Anyway, truth to be told, my devotion time has been lacking lately and the direction has been all over the place. So, today it finally hit me that I need help to guide me through my devotion time. Not random online devotion, but more like devotional book with a clear theme. So, I decided to buy a book titled, "Growing With Purpose" by Jon Walker.

Why did I decide on this one? Well, I realized that every stop signs in our lives are put there for a purpose. We can chose to go through it without learning anything from it, or we can take a moment to grow from it. That's why I think this devotion theme will fit better for my focus ----- at least for now. So, if you are with me, let's grow with purpose ^_^.