Reflection 2: Can I or Can't I?

Today devotion talks about our competence as Christians and how we need to first say, "I can't" to fully realize that only God can. Jon Walker argues that, "If we rush past 'I can't', we will never fully embrace the notion that only God can" (Walker, 2009, p.14).

I find today's devotion to be quite puzzling. In the beginning, Walker talks about how we can do nothing apart from God. But then, he continues with talking about living life led by rules vs by Holy Spirit. while I can understand both of his arguments, I find it really hard to fully understand the connection between those two. So, for now my lesson is simply that dependency on God is my only option.

It's funny to think that while we can say with our mouth that we can't do anything without Him, our actions can show a whole different message. Without realizing it, we tend to fall into what Gerald May would call "spiritual narcissism" - a condition in which we think we know what is the best for us spiritually. The question is, isn't it the reason of Jesus came to the earth is to show us who God is - because humans are so limited in knowledge and simply clueless about everything, especially God.

So, when the question is asked,"Can I or Can't I?". I believe the only answer is "I can through Him" - Philippians 4:13. Now, how can I translate that into my daily life? That, I believe, is the challenge for today.

"The gentlest form of spiritual narcissism is the idea that one can accomplish one's own spiritual growth... The belief that 'I can do it' is intimately associated with the assumption that 'it is my idea, my desire, to do it.' spiritual narcissism works to deny the realization that our spirituality comes from God" - Gerald May